Interview With The Fairies
by LonelyBallerina
Summary: Just another interview. You know, normal and usual stuff. Nothing could go wrong...right? Chapter 2: Natsu Dragneel.
1. Lucy Heartfilia

**A/N: Just something to pass time by...that and something to inspire me. My creative juices have run out. That or I'm infected again by the procrastination bugs. Never heard of them? Good for you. Anyways, this is another story. I don't know what kind of fanfiction this is but here it is. I present to you...wait for it...**

**Disclaimer (applies to all the chapters and the whole fic)****: Hiro Mashima made Fairy Tail, not me.**

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><p><strong>Interview With The Fairies<strong>

A woman in short blue-black hair stood at the middle of the set. Her eyes were deep blue and her mouth was set in a bright professional smile. In one hand was a microphone, the other was settled calmly at her side. The lights were blaring directly at her elfin face. Not a moment too soon, the cameraman cued her and said those three familiar words. "Lights. Camera. Action!"

She gathered a breath and said with confidence and poise, "Good morning, everyone! Welcome to Interview With The Fairies!"

The audience clapped and she waited as they quieted down. "This is a new segment featuring, of course, the Fairy Tail members with me, your host, Cuvie. You might be wondering what this is all about. See, here, we take a break from all the arcs, the battles and all that destruction and have a little chat with the famous guild in Magnolia, Fairy Tail"

Slowly, she sat at one of the chairs at the set and said, "Help me welcome, Lucy Heartfilia!"

She entered then, the famous Stellar Mage, smiling and waving and so carefree. Gracefully, she sat at the chair like the royal blood she is.

Smiling, the host started the interview, "Miss Heartfilia, how are you feeling today?"

"Please, call me, Lucy and I feel great! Thank you for having me here at your show"

"It was our pleasure, really. So, Lucy, are you ready for the questions?"

"I'm ready as I'll ever be," she replied with obvious enthusiasm.

"Alright! First off, are your measurements really 37in, 23in, 36in?"

"…Err. Excuse me? H-How did you-? Where? When did you-?"

"This just in, actually, someone took it from the backstage"

Confusion passed through the Stellar Mage's eyes, "But the only person there was…Loke! How did he do that?"

The host only smiled as she waited for an answer.

"Fine. I guess so. I never checked," she replied with a pout.

"Really? But almost everyone said you were vain"

"Everyone? You mean the guild members? That's not true, I'm not vain!"

Cuvie nodded in understanding, "I see. Then why is there a mirror facing you out there?" The host pointed at the audience where, in fact, a tall mirror stood.

Panicking, Lucy grabbed her key and yelled, "Open! Gate of the Maiden, Virgo!"

At the middle of the set appeared a maid with pink hair and shackles at her wrists. "You called, princess?"

"Break that mirror!" she yelled.

"Right away, princess," she replied in monotone. And then, at the middle of the set, a hole began to materialize.

As the maid vanished, Cuvie leaned closer, "That reminds me, are you really into that masochistic-sadistic thing?"

"What? No! Of course not! I'm a gentle and caring person, you know"

"The job is finished, princess. Am I getting my punishment?" Virgo emerged beside her in an instant.

"No! You can go back. And no, this doesn't prove your point. Everyone knows I'm nice"

Again, Cuvie nodded and took out cue cards. "Lucy, here in my hands is the proof of your gentleness. But as our code of honor, we will not expose these people's identity. Here's one, it says, 'Lucy is such a meanie and scary sometimes. She doesn't give us fish and gets angry at us for sleeping in her bed. Also, she calls me an annoying blue cat. It's hurting my feelings'"

"Let me guess. That was Happy, isn't it?"

"O-Of course not! It's…uh…a secret. Yeah. Anyways, how about it, Lucy? You're hurting someone's feelings by not giving them fish and not sharing beds and calling them names, why is that?"

"In my defense, Happy always eats the fish with or without permission and who wouldn't get angry if not only do they eat your food but also sleep in your bed? And he **is** an annoying blue cat"

"Well, I'm sure this person, who is not Happy, will understand your point of view. Here is another one from a close friend, 'She gets furious when I accidentally burn her clothes or her furniture or other stuff she has. Also, she has a really loud voice when she's on her period'"

"I do not! Natsu just gets on my nerves especially when he keeps appearing in my apartment and he doesn't 'accidentally' burn them. He plays with fire at my apartment! One time, he also burnt my hair...in his sleep!"

"I see. This person, who is clearly not Natsu-"

"Of course it's Natsu!"

"…" The host could only blink then she changed topic, "Oh, this is an interesting piece, 'She gets mad when I strip'…That's it? Well, then, Lucy? Any thoughts?"

"It's not good manners to strip. I told Gray that a couple of times. Not all women are happy to see his...you know"

"See what?"

"His...thing," Lucy muttered.

"His thing? What thing? His pants? His jacket?" Cuvie remained oblivious.

"His p****!" Lucy yelled in fury.

A moment of awkward silence passed until the host coughed, "Err...Okay, I'm sure we will censor that out for-" Cuvie pressed her earpiece and mumbled, "Oh. Oh my. Turns out, we're live. As in right now. In front of all Fiore". She laughed awkwardly, "That is rather embarrassing but heck, people will forget about it...eventually...Anywho, back to the topic, the opinion did not belong to-"

A glare from Lucy shut Cuvie up.

"More of that later. Let's move on to the topic of love. Who catches your eye in Fairy Tail, Lucy?"

With this question, Lucy blushed, "Um, there's no one who, uh, catches my eye"

"Is it Loke?"

Lucy's eyes widened and her cheeks reddened further, "No, of course not! He's one of my spirits. That's all. It's like he's my brother…or some sort of perverted grandfather or something. He **is **old"

"Ahh. So you're into incest. How about that, folks? Lucy Heartfilia is into incest!" Cuvie grinned widely at the camera.

The audience cheered and whistled.

"What the-? I'm not into incest! Are you out of your mind?"

"If it's not Loke, is it Gray? Natsu?"

"Neither. They're like brothers-I mean, they're my team mates. Nothing more"

Cuvie nodded, "Tell me, you're familiar of the Sorcerer Weekly, aren't you?"

Lucy nodded, "It's my favorite magazine. Why?"

"I've heard that Siegrain also known as Jellal was on the top of your 'Perfect Boyfriend' list, second is Loke" Cuvie said as she took a peek from her cue card.

"Psh. That's, like, so long ago! Plus, Erza's going to kill me if I'm going to hit on Jellal, not that I would because I will not. Ever. Seriously," at this, Lucy was staring straight at the camera, silently pleading.

"But if I would say that somehow, Erza disappeared forever, never returning again. Will you hit on Jellal?" Cuvie asked intently.

Lucy's eyes widened, "Erza couldn't disappear. She couldn't do that"

"But if she would..." the interviewer urged.

The interviewee hesitated, "I guess...?"

"So you're willing to sacrifice the team for the 'perfect boyfriend'?"

"I thought Erza disappeared!" Lucy raised her voice in panic.

"Tsk. Tsk." Cuvie shook her head in disappointment. "Speaking of team, what's yours called?"

"We haven't really thought of that," Lucy hesitated.

"But if you could name it. What would it be?"

She placed a finger on her chin as she thought, "Um…The awesome…team?"

"…That's…awesome, I guess. Moving on, about your wardrobe, is that really your kind of style?"

"I think so. I like it this way. It's comfortable"

"Hm. But don't you hate it when men whistle and stare at you when you pass?"

"I'm used to it"

"You don't mind it at all?"

"Do you hate me?"

"Alright! That is all for today, ladies and gentlemen. Once again, this is Lucy Heartfilia, the Celestial Mage of Fairy Tail!"

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><p><strong>AN: First, no, I'm not Cuvie. Second, I don't hate Lucy. Third, the first one may be a lie. LOL. This is the first chapter (obviously), the second one will be Natsu's. PM me some good questions for him or put it in the review, 'kay? I** **literally have no ideas where to go with this. **

**I know, it's bad but I don't know how to play with her character more. See? The creative juice thing is real.  
><strong>

**Read and Review! :))**


	2. Natsu Dragneel

**A/N: Gimme more creative juices! I mean *cough* *cough* He****llo there. I, um, here's the second chapter! Enjoy...I hope.**

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><p><strong>Interview With The Fairies<strong>

The audience was becoming restless, so were the staff. Time and time again, they reminded themselves that this was another interview...albeit a very dangerous one still, it was going to be just fine. Just fine, indeed.

The host, this time, sat at the cushioned chairs. Her hair was gelled up in soft spikes and her make-up was light and lovely. In three counts, the cameraman said, "Camera Rolling".

"Welcome to another episode of Interview With The Fairies!" the audience cheered and hooted. When the ruckus died down, she added, "I am your host, Cuvie and for this show we will have a very special guest...which explains the Fire Department on hold and the extinguishers ready...also, there are buckets of water under your chairs for emergency purposes," she took a breath, "Let us welcome Natsu Dragneel!"

A bubblegum-haired Natsu appeared, grinning and waving like a mad idiot. "Hi everyone! Hello! Hey there!" he greeted continuously as he sat beside Cuvie.

"Natsu Dragneel, the famous Fire Dragon Slayer," the interviewer started, "are **you **ready for the questions?"

He rubbed his hands together as if preparing to devour a meal, "Hell yeah! I'm all fired up!"

Cuvie smiled at his demeanor, _"_Alright then, first question, why are you called Salamander? Aren't salamanders amphibians?"

"Eh? Sorry, what kinda bun?"

The interviewer laughed and explained, "No, amphibians...as in they can live on water and land"

Natsu's eyes widened, "No, they don't. Gramps said salamanders are the new dragons"

"Actually, they're cold-blooded and they don't even breathe fire"

"NO! You're lying! I saw a salamander breathe fire once...or was it on fire? Did I accidentally-" He shook his head, "Salamanders are awesome! And that's final"

An awkward silence passed as Cuvie arranged herself again, "Okay then. Salamanders are great, really great. But here is another fun fact about those wet lizards. 'The male salamanders show bright colors to get the attention of females', is that the reason why you're hair is pink?"

Natsu blinked, "My hair ain't pink..."

"But it is. It's pink..." the interviewer countered in confusion.

"...It ain't. The barber said it's wishy-washy vermilion..."

Cuvie's eyes darted to the audience for silent help, "...So, it's pink?"

"It fuckin' ain't!" Natsu leaned in towards the interviewer with flaming eyes and flaring nostrils. "My hair is wishy...washy...vermilion," he said with emphasis on each word.

This time, Cuvie had moved a meter away from him...for safety. She gave a clumsy laugh and wiped her forehead, "O-Okay. Um. N-Next question. "What…did you eat for breakfast?"

"You know, the usual, fire" he shrugged casually as if nothing happened, "…and whatever food's in Lucy's fridge"

"What c-comes after the number 56?" Cuvie stuttered.

He sat there in thought for a whole minute then said in all confidence, "7! Wait, no, it's 57"

"What is your least favorite...um...food?" the interviewer was making out questions as she went. Safe questions.

Natsu exhaled, "...Etherion. I mean, I had dia...dah-yah...dah-yah" he snapped his fingers continuously then finally exclaimed, "Dayarama! Yeah, I had diorama for a whole two weeks and it ain't pretty. The other stuff I ate was pretty bad too but Etherion is worser...I mean, the worst. It tasted all cold and cool. Like Gray"

Cuvie's eyes widened at this, "You tasted Gray?" then gave a dramatic gasp in which the audience joined wholeheartedly.

"What the fuck! No!" his eyes darted left and right.

"..."

"...What?"

"...Nothing..." Cuvie smiled knowingly.

"...Oh fuck it! We have fights, ya know"

Cuvie nodded, "And these 'fights' lead to a more physical interaction?"

Natsu pondered over the question, "...Well yeah, I guess you could call it that"

The host nodded, "What position do you like best, Natsu Dragneel?"

"Huh. I like it better when I'm on top. That way, I can aim better," he said coolly.

"Are you sure you're male? I mean, really really male?" Cuvie blurted out.

"Yeah! Why?"

"…"

"...Do you think...that I'm...like that fat guy in Pegasus?"

Cuvie avoided his eyes as she replied, "Well, you know, you're very much concerned about your wardrobe"

"...Should I just burn this building down or are ya gonna gimme a proper question?" he showed an evil grin that Cuvie shuddered.

The interviewer mouthed a 'Help me' at the audience then returned to her cue cards in which she held with trembling hands, "A-Ano...we have a special question f-from 61wisampa but you don't want that. It's rather lo-long"

Natsu perked at the word 'special', "Hey! Go on. Ask me"

Cuvie swallowed, "Natsu, why do you keep sleeping on Lucy's bed and sneaking in her apartment just before she goes out of the bathroom with nothing on but her towel? Are you really just too..." she glanced at Natsu's cheery face then to her cue cards and back, "It's really not necessary to answer-"

"JUST FUCKING ASK ME! DAMMIT!" he shouted.

The interviewer jolted at this, "...s-s-stu-stupid to know the implications of what you were doing or were you actually doing them on purpose?"

Natsu stared at the ceiling, seemingly engulfed in finding the answer, "Did that happen more than once? Huh...That one time, Happy and I smelled strawberries and we thought she was makin' pancakes or somethin' so we rushed over..."

"...But I've heard that you once peeked on the girls while they were bathing...is that true?"

"We-Well, we were only curious...and the others dared me...that was all...Can I show my talent now?"

Cuvie blinked repeatedly, "But that's not-" She pressed her earpiece, nodded and said, "Okay then. The director approved so, um, I'll just hide-I mean, stand right here...behind this hopefully sturdy chair while you do your thing". As Natsu headed at the middle of the set, the host hurriedly hid behind her chair.

He poised himself in his signature move. With a deep steady breath, he created fire on both hands, and brought them together, "_Karyū no Kōen". _It created an expected giant explosion. The audience ooh-ed and aah-ed at the sight, completely oblivious to the danger it presented.

Fortunately, nothing burned, everything was put off quickly in a blink of an eye. Cuvie could not help but breathe a sigh of relief. "Whew! Now, where were we?"

Natsu turned to her and his jaw dropped.

"...What?"

"..."

"What? What is it? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"...Gotta go!" He then ran at the nearest exit.

"What is his problem? God, that kid has some issues. Seriously. His hair is fudging pink! Can't anyone tell him that? I swear-" She stopped and pressed her earpiece. "Oh...So, we're still rolling?...Fudgin' great...My hair? What about my hair?" In panic, she grabbed at her blue-black locks and screamed.

"That fucking homo burned my fucking hair!"

All of a sudden, the channel became static...

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><p><strong>AN: Just had to publish this before I go so if there are mistakes, please alert me. Thanks! Next up is my favorite, Gray Fullbuster! Kyaaa~!**


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